Hello My Beautiful HIS&HERS Readers:
I received this email the other day. Usually I’ll file unimportant emails and try to look at them another time but for some reason I opened it and began reading. Thank goodness I did because I definitely NEEDED to see it’s content. After you read it, you will see my thoughts and reaction. Enjoy…
Do you ever find yourself worrying about what you wear, how your hair and make-up look for a man? Or worry about being perfectly “put together” and think about acting “sexy,” and just DOING nice things for a man like cook him a fabulous dinner or rub his shoulders after a hard day at work – or whatever it else you try to DO for a man – and all in hopes that he will be happier with you? That he’ll LOVE you more?
So many women – almost ALL women, in fact, do this – and the hoped for result is simply NOT TRUE!
Oh yes, a man will take everything you want to give him – and gladly. Why wouldn’t he? And he’ll CONTINUE to take all this. But none of what you DO will bring him closer to you. None of it will get him to feel more for you. In fact it’s likely to sooner or later push him away – and more likely sooner.
Learning what attracts a man and what pushes him away is crucial to feeling confident and secure in a relationship – because it’s not about games at all. It’s about respecting a man, even if you don’t feel he’s doing his job as a man “right”- and about allowing yourself to be vulnerable so he can CARE about your feelings.
So what do you do to make your man want you more? The simplest, easiest, fastest way to make this happen sounds like common sense – but, actually – it’s the exact OPPOSITE of everything a woman thinks she “should” do!
And that secret is to – take care of YOU.
Yes, this sounds too simple. And “love yourself” is something you’ve probably heard over and over again from “self-help gurus” but it’s true! Loving yourself makes a man respect you, it makes him find you fascinating, it makes him find you desirable – and it fires up his system so he feels like falling in love with you!
The big question has to do with the “how-to” of loving yourself in a way that makes a man love YOU more. Here are some steps to help you:
1. You must FILL your life with all the things that make YOU feel good, such as work you enjoy, activities which fulfill you. Could be dance classes, pottery lessons, reading in the park, writing, reading, anything that turns YOU on – massages, manicures, a decadent piece of the best, most expensive chocolate. Now…
2. Let that full-life feeling and real interest in yourself show on your OUTSIDE! Change your hair color, go curly or straight, change what you’re wearing – clothes, makeup, nailpolish, everything. Wear red on your lips and body – and just shake it all up so that YOU feel different. Fresh. New. This way – when he shows up in a bigger way for you (and he will)- you’ll feel like an “unfamiliar woman” to him. You can literally “start new” with him. Then…
3. As you go about your life being filled up, you must keep your heart open to him so he feels welcome to come to you. (It’s really important to remember – no matter how hard it is – that HE must come to YOU, not the other way around (and he will). When he sees you having a wonderful, full life without him, he will become curious. When your energy is no longer chasing him and pressuring him, he will finally be able to breathe. He will no longer feel smothered by all your attentions as the “good girlfriend”. He will have space to come to you, pursue you – just as it needs to be. This is his job as a man. It’s his job to call, make plans, let you know he’s interested, that he wants to be with you. Your job as a woman is to receive HIS attentions – wholeheartedly, without reservations. You job is to keep your heart open, and receive his love. This is not such an easy thing for women – to be vulnerable and open. But it pays off big time. And last…(women so often make this mistake…)
4. Remember this important key: A man is HAPPIEST when he’s actively making YOU happy. To get extra help on how to be so warm, welcoming and attractive that you’ll draw in a man who wants to make you happy – and KEEP him wanting to make you happy… Learning to “receive” from a man instead of “give” to him all the time will make a huge difference in your love life. Let us know how it changes things for you.
Sincerely, The Editors at Love Romance Relationship
Talk about EYE OPENING! Every relationship I’m in from my family to my man I’m always trying to make everyone happy. Trying to plan everything… Trying to fix everything… And always GIVING GIVING GIVING… Never allowing myself to RECEIVE. How many of us primp ourselves for our man? Planning the perfect date… The perfect vacation… The perfect moment… THEN get UPSET when he doesn’t give us the reaction or the “perfection” back? *raises hand* I’m thinking about how many arguments I could have avoided if I were focused on making myself happy first? When he doesn’t respond the way I expect I find myself saying, “but I was just trying to make you happy”. Now I realize that is NOT my responsibility. Talk about a load off my back. I’ll have to admit this is a foreign concept to me because I am the ultimate doer. I truly enjoy making the people around me happy but I now see I need to put myself first. Especially were me and my man are concerned. Allowing myself to relax and letting him step up to the plate. It seems easy enough but all my “motherly” type females will agree, letting go of the reigns can be challenging, but I’m going to let go and let others. Hope you all were able to get something valuable from this email. Leave a comment with your reactions, thoughts, experiences regarding this message. Till next time…
~My Days & Nights Are Forever Sunny~